Quest Twelve - feat. Underspy Ramoo

    The peasants were revolting!...but Lady Redrum knew that already.  When didn't the peasants have something to complain about?  What she really needed was for someone to make their complaints go away, one way or another.
    The message Under-Spy Ramoo received from Lady Redrum was brief: Resolve the dispute with the peasants, and she would be well rewarded.  She was free to do it any way she liked, as long as the streets didn't run with blood.  It was time to get down to the square and see what all the fuss was about.
    Ramoo heads for the town square in the dead of night to see if the commotion is still going on.  She notices a group of people hanging around and decides to ask a few nonchalant questions to see if they know the situation.  The first peasant admits that he’s sick of the way things are being run, the second is tired or working so hard for so little, and the third has had enough of Lady Redrum and is wondering who elected her Queen anyway.  Ramoo shakes her head and makes a plan to just threaten the peasants to get the information she needs and to find the leader.  The first one cracks under her threats, “It wasn't my idea, it was Alvin’s!  You can find him at the tavern usually.”
    Ramoo sheaths her blade and walks to the tavern to find this annoying peasant.  She finds Alvin outside of the tavern and confronts him about this revolt.  He puts up his hands in defense, “You don’t have to yell.  We simply want enough food for our families and soap to keep us clean.  Taxes have run us dry, and we can’t afford it ourselves.  Tell your master we need these things.”  Ramoo listens to the demands and goes in search of Lady Redrum to report her findings thus far. The Queen listens, “Ah, so that’s what this is about…we don’t have enough to go around, so you make the decision: Soap for everyone, or food for half of them?  Choose wisely.”
    Ramoo thinks for a while and makes a decision.  She turns to the Monarch, “It will be fairer if I can give them all soap.”  The Queen nods, “Soap for everyone?  Good answer.  A smelly peasant is a noticeable peasant.  Go now, give them soap.”  She hands Ramoo a sack full of soap and the spy heads back to the town square to dispense it.  She meets with Alvin to discuss the offer.  The peasant responds, “The soap is nice…but wait, what about the food?  This is unacceptable!”  Ramoo shakes her head.  She would need to make an example of this leader and execute him to make a point.  She cuts down the peasant leader in front of the whole group to make sure they start seeing things her way.
    The peasants shake in fear as Ramoo wipes her blade and sheaths it at her side.  She pulls out the bags of soap and asks if they are happy with this offer or not.  One of the peasants bursts out, “Soap will be just fine!  Thank you! Oh thank you!”  Another one asks about the food and Ramoo waves her sword towards his throat.  The man shakes, “We’ll eat the dirt!  I hear that tastes good.”  She nods her head and makes her way to the throne room to report her success with the mindless peasants.
    With a firm hand, Ramoo swiftly put down the peasant revolt. Lady Redrum was relieved that most of the peasants were unharmed, and were able to return to their fields.  The town returned to business as usual.  In the end, the peasants decided they were quite pleased with the soap, even if some weren't quite sure what to do with it.